if i was born 25 years earlier...

I was born in the 80's. I love saying that, as I'm pretty sure the 80's (closely followed by the 90's and 70's) is my ultimate decade for music - a lot of one hit wonders ("Come on Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners; "Tainted Love" by SoftCell), and bands typically associated with the 80's such as The Police, but also great years for current bands like Metallica and Depeche Mode. Trying to make it in the male-dominated world of engineering, I often wonder what I would have done if I was born a few decades earlier. I usually go right back to the practically medieval choice of washer women, because I (with my modern feminist tendencies) would like to think if I was born anytime after about 1920 I would somehow get a career in Engineering/Science despite it being unusual for a woman. However, I forget that I probably wouldn't have been brought up with the "you can be absolutely whatever you want to be" attitude, and I definitely wouldn't have grown up in a society providing me with opportunities to do this, so it might have been a bit trickier than I imagine.

For the past 5 years I have periodically questioned dropping my career choice in favour of one more associated with music (production, editing, event organising, etc). Every time I have come to the conclusion that I can enjoy music as a hobby whilst being an engineer, but I would find it difficult to satisfy my science-cravings if I was working in the music world (mainly because I would need my own lab with zillions of dollars of equipment in it). So I think, if I was born in the early 60's, making the beginning of my career throughout the 80's, I would have been a singer (or tried to be, but this is not the point). I think I would have liked to have started out along the lines of Tiffany, Pat Benatar, and Toni Basil, but hopefully would have changed direction to more of an early 90's band thing, like Letters to Cleo, and possibly Hole. And seeing as I have total control over this little fantasy, I think I had better say I would be born in the USA, seeing as none of those artists come from little island NZ.

On that note, here's Laura Branigan with my fave song of the week, Gloria (1982):

I am a happy chappy

Yo homies, what up?

I am just relaxing in my house, eating frozen raspberries, doing a bit of research work, and, until recently, was enjoying a nice cup of slim cappuccino mix. That was when I found great big lumps of crap strewn throughout said coffee. I am unimpressed Nestle, totally, utterly, UN-IM-PRESSED.

Pretty busy as of late, I know I always say that but this time it is true - This week I've got 2 Rotary presentations, a trip to a steel works, a short course on gas safety, sign up session for a Welsh language course, hiking club meeting, and on Sunday hopefully a hike from Chepstow to Tintern Abbey, a historical abbey on the border of Wales and England. I'm hoping to fit a game of squash or two in there somewhere as well! I have no more words, here is a photo of me falling into a pile of snow (always amusing) :

Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away...

Thought I would make a list of everywhere I want to go in the next few years, so if anyone wants to go there too, let me know and maybe we can travel together :D ... Or if you know anywhere you think I should especially go, let me know!

Hopefully Between Now and October 2010

ENGLAND:

• London - Specifically the bridges, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, the Eye, Westminster Abbey, Greenwich, Museums, the Tower
• Manchester
• The Forest of Dean
• The White Cliffs of Dover (from a boat on the way back from France??!!)
  
• Cornwall
• Cambridge
• Bognor Regis
• Bristol - Specifically the Industrial Museum, SS Great Britain, and possibly the Zoo
  

SCOTLAND:

• Edinburgh - Specifically the haunted sewers
• Inverness (Lochness Monster)
• Aberdeen
  
• Some rugged rural area of Scotland
• Maybe Glasgow

North and South IRELAND:

• Belfast
• Dublin
• Giants Causeway
• Cliffs of Moher
• Pretty much the whole land!

WALES:

• Bangor
• Hiking in Snowdonia
• Camping in the Brecon Beacons
• Big Pit (a big mine)
• Haverfordwest and Pembrokeshire
• Aberystwyth

October 2010

ASIA:

• Some cheap country where I can stop off at for about 5 days, so I can experience some Asian culture as well as relaxing and chilling out, without it costing too much! Perhaps Vietnam or Laos? Keen for ideas though!

October 2010 - February 2011

AUSTRALASIA:

• South Island of NZ
• Gisborne
• Wellington
• Whangarei
• Sydney / Brisbane ...?

February 2011 onwards

EUROPE:

• France - Northern and Southern and everywhere! Alsace, Limoges...
• Greece
• Egypt (just to see the pyramids)
• Spain
• Italy
• Germany
• Switzerland
• Ukraine
• Turkey - Gallipoli for ANZAC day
• Dubai
  

UK path lab is a MACHINE!

I went and got a blood test done today, mainly to see if there is anything in my DNA that makes me so awesomely superhuman. I was amazed at the efficient, if not impersonal service here in Wales. Seriously:

9:00am - roll up to Doctor's clinic for drop in hours
9:20am - Doctor confirms I am dying, gives me plastic bag, form, map to Pathology Unit

12:10pm - walk to Path lab (which is conveniently in the hospital next to my University)
12:15pm - take form to counter - get given paper tag, number 95
12:20pm - bleeping noise, counter ticks to 95, I walk into clinic
12:21pm - i sit, nurse finds vein, takes blood
12:22pm - i leave path lab with a cotton ball taped to my arm

Honestly. There was a room with 2 chairs in it, and 2-3 nurses working to pump the patients through. It was a case of "name and date of birth please" wam bam thank you mam here's-a-giant-sticky-plaster-go-to-your-doctor-later-in-the-week. I am not sure if it is the best system ever or the worst... it was kind of unfriendly, I was just another arm to them. (But a good one I bet!) Got to admire the efficiency though - perhaps they save the people skills for when the results come in?

Diagnosed by my Mum...

Since I arrived in Wales 2 months ago, I have had a lot of trouble focusing, working, and sleeping. My mind is going a million miles an hour about this that and the other, and everything in between. At first I thought I was just tired, but things didn't change even when I worked hard at getting enough sleep. I went to the Doctor, who annoyingly told me I was anxious so I couldn't sleep, and tired so I couldn't focus. She prescribed me sleeping tablets, and said if that didn't fix everything then to come back and she would put me on anti-depressants. Even though I wasn't depressed, she was convinced I was anxious about something.

Not impressed - I'm not anxious! I just can't stop thinking! I'm thinking about all these new and exciting things that are happening in my life, and are going to be happening in the future! Then Mum pointed out something really obvious. I am super excited. Overexcited even. As in the hyperactive type child kind. At 23, that's me :D ... I'm currently working with more exercise, healthy diet, check lists, chamomile/peppermint/licorice root sleeping tea, relaxing hot showers, light reading, calming music, and relaxation tracks before bed. 70% of the time it works, the other 30% I am up til 3am tossing and turning. But 70% is an improvement yes?! Still struggling a bit during the day, but hey, lets just hope I grow out of it!

Today, as I was walking along the beach looking at some terrace houses and thinking "Wow! Look! I'm in Wales! Look! Those are British houses! I'm here, in Wales! Look! Wow!" (I'm not kidding, 2 months in and I am still that buzzy about just being here), it occurred to me that I should have seen this coming. I have always been fairly overwhelmed by the fact that human beings even exist, that I am even alive, so of course moving 20,000kms away from home and starting a new life was going to send my thoughts into overdrive. We can clearly conclude I think waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. If anyone knows how to slow my brain down so it can actually focus on something please let me know! In the mean time, here's a picture I think depicts me fairly well...

AHA! I have discovered the meaning of life!

Just kidding. That was to get your attention. Now, I have an important announcement to make. Actually, I don't. I am just kidding again. Oh what a trickster I am! Does anyone else turn into a supreme gift-buying person when they are away from home? I have already bought Stella (she's my bestie fo life, write that down) her birthday gift for 2nd December, as well as my parents Christmas gift, plus I have chosen my brother/sister in laws Christmas present, and planned each of their birthday presents (mid-Nov and late-Dec), plus the other few Xmas gifts I must buy. Not to mention the stack of Christmas cards I have already delegated out to 24 of my closest friends and family (Limited number in the pack you see), and I have already asked my parents if it is okay to send them over in one package for them to redistribute in New Zealand. Organised? Definitely. Neurotic? Most likely.

The Truth about Life in Wales...

Hello hello hello...

I suppose it is a good sign that I haven't written a decent post since before I left Wellington... shows I actually have a life. I thought it was only fair to have some sort of news here so when I tell my friends "I could write you a letter, but how about you just go read my blog? It has everything on it." I'm not lying so much as exaggerating the truth. Good.

So! My life in Wales is pretty exciting, if any of you get the chance to go overseas I would take it with both hands. In saying that, I would really recommend making sure you are at the right place in your life when you leave NZ though... I am fortunate enough to have the last 6 and a half years of my life consist of 2 terribly homesick years, 1 party year, 3 emotionally draining years at uni, and 8 months of getting used to the idea I would soon be 20,000 kms away from anyone i knew. So I was ready!

Obviously when I first got to the UK I was jetlagged, so didn't really know up from down (I was going to say left from right, but I get those confused 95% of the time jet lag or no jet lag). I switched into business mode straight away, and was really calm finding my way around heathrow airport. Except the ONE internet cafe they had was broken! I had to call my Papa at 5am NZ time to get him to log in to my email to get a reference code it turned out I didn't even need! Anyway, thanks daddy :D The next day, in Reading, I explored like a good tourist would. I took heaps of photos, because in my jetlagged state I couldn't decide what was good and what wasn't. The first 4 days in Swansea I was with Mair, the Rotary president of my club here. Anything she suggested, I just said yes to. I gave a 30 minute presentation to the club, but luckily it was about myself so I could wing it with the help of the slideshow I made. That weekend I was in the halls, but there was no one around. I went on a trip to the national botanical gardens of wales, not because I desperately wanted to see them, but because it was free and something to do. About this time I was ready to meet people and get into it!

Since then, I have joined the student radio station, the engineering society, been to leicester, mumbles, torquay, llanelli, have gotten books out of both the public library and the university library, been shopping several times, and am hoping to join the volleyball team. It is safe to say I am pretty much into it all over here. My best friends here are a pre-dental from Iowa, America, and an international development/politics from the Netherlands (that's Laura and Elise if you hear me talking about them again). I have met some other really cool people here as well, but not everyone can expect a shout out can they? Yesterday I spoke to my University supervisor, and I'm going to start experiments late next week. On Monday I move into my office in the Engineering department - I share it with 2 others, and our names are on the wall outside the door! I have my own key to that and the labs, as well as after-hours access to the building. Am I grown up or what?!

Rotary is going well too, I have already done 5 of my 10-15 activities for the year - 2 presentations and 3 visits (Scholar conference in Leicester, District conference in Torquay, the Swansea Coastguard with the Group Study Exchange (GSE) team from Adelaide, Australia), plus I have another 4 or so booked. My host counsellor here is amazing - her name is Gwenda and she works way too hard. She is a specialist nurse, and she is absolutely fabulous to have looking out for me. I also have the scholarship co-ordinator for the district, Gareth and his wife Jan, who are just so hospitable and fantastic to have around. Laura is another ambassadorial scholar - next week we are doing a joint presentation and we've decided to speak back and forth as opposed to one after the other - so I'll let you know how NZ stacks up next to America!

For Christmas I don't know what I am going to do yet - Elise is having a Christmas party in Swansea on xmas day, and i've been invited various other places with other people too (Mum and Dad's friends in Haverfordwest, Gwenda's family in Aberystwyth, London with another friend)... Elise and I are quite keen to head to either Ireland or Scotland for a few days over the xmas time, so that might happen too. I'm obviously not loaded with money at the moment, studying in a foreign country is not the lightest on the pocket :-) ... so I must choose my travels carefully! I'm pretty much just trying to meet people from different areas of the UK so I can stay with them! The scholar conference was pretty good for that, and a guy from London is here this weekend visiting Laura and I. Mainly Laura, as I am here typing this. But I will be on the d-floor tonight, I promise! The district conference meant we got to meet Emily, a scholar from Australia studying in Cardiff (capital of Wales for those of you that aren't good at Geography - and if you don't know where Wales is, go see Mr. Fleming). Laura and I are real keen to head over to see her - even though Cardiff is right there we haven't been yet!

Living in the halls is pretty lame, but in the mornings I open my curtains and if the sun is shining it is a beautiful view out over the ocean. No kidding - it really is amazing here! I have lots of photos of Stella and me on my walls, need to figure out where I can print some off of all you other people I also miss. I do miss you all, and I miss New Zealand too - I miss the fresian dairy cows, I miss the rangi-ness of NZ, the kiwi party scene. I've been really getting into Katchafire, the Black Seeds, and Fast Crew. I can't wait to go camping here, and see if it is like camping in NZ.

Testing video for my new rotary blog...

Hey guys, this was a video I took at the space centre... I will be posting all the unedited things on this site, and linking to my new Rotary blog, which will have more formal, edited things on it. SO this is just a test! How lucky you are to be my guinea pigs! New blog is www.RotaryScholarClaire.blogspot.com ... try it.

xox

HeartBreak in Rotorua

Yes yes, it is true, I am struggling to say goodbye to NZ, to Rotorua, and mostly to Rotoma. It's tough! I know I am coming back but, wow, going to miss these places and these PEOPLE!! Especially those retards without internet access (these people do exist!). The last month or so has been hectic, I seem to have made new friends and become better friends with old friends, have developed a love interest or 2 (or 3), and have just become more attached to everything Kiwi. Dammit! I fly out in exactly 5 days (Saturday night) and I just don't want to leave everyone and everything. One of the said love interests is being a complete idiot and has succeeded in tipping my life upside down in less than 5 days, but I guess I now have 5 days to right-end it and move on. 5 day rule!

Almost everything is sorted, I have a new camera, new laptop, new travel case, new glasses (x 2!!), and various other new things to take with me. Very cool. Have started packing, but really, lets be honest, I'm all about analysing stupid love interest number 3. May need some help in implementing the 5 day rule. Any takers?

MESSAGE FOR THOSE CRAFTY TYPES

http://www.wardroberefashion.net/

Especially for Nikki....

And also - I booked a one way ticket to London last night... I leave Saturday 12th September.

Lemon Detox (LDD)

I forgot to blog that I am doing the Lemon Detox Diet, just to cleanse my body (as it is a temple and all) ... So I'm planning on doing at least 7 days, maybe 8, 9, or 10. No more than 10. I'm just at the end of day 4 now, and it's so tough! Not because I'm hungry - I'm pretty much not, but because I really want to taste food again! Eating the same thing for 4 days is hella boring. I can't wait until I'm done - I've proposed that the flat and I go out for dinner when I've had my 2-3 days of taking it easy (drinking juices and eating pureed vegies). I'm keen for a nice as pasta meal (surprise surprise), so if anyone knows where I can find the best, creamy pasta in Wellington, let me know! I'm also planning what I want to eat in the week following my detox ... I want to really enjoy my food now! So far all I got is sushi, and then the pasta meal I want to go out for. What you guys got?

who are these people?

Who are these randoms signing my guest book? "arhiderrr"? Ah... Hi Dere? Yes? No?


Anyway, just thought I would update you on what's going on for me at the moment. So I've been in Wellington for 2 months now, and I am still unemployed. I have applied for every job under the sun that I think I could possibly not hate, using a variety of websites, newspapers, word-of-mouth and door-knocking methods. This recession SUCKS. There are zero jobs out there that my engineering degree is going to help me with, and apparently "a year and a bit" of Admin/Receptionist experience just doesn't cut it for an interview these days. And if you don't have your bar license or bar experience, how could you ever learn to work behind a bar?

...

So yesterday I jumped in my brothers '67 Cortina and we drove up to Rotorua with his fiancee, Juliet. The car was a little less than practical, with the following comments coming out of Gareth's mouth throughout the 7 hour drive...

( some of these may be slightly variated on what he actually said... )

- We can't have the front windows down over about 40 kmph because there's nothing holding the other windows in, and the pressure will cause them to fall out.

- That twangy noise is just the brake pedal.

- There's no seat belts in the back, but the fire extinguisher is just by your feet Claire.

- I don't actually know how fast we are going, because the speedo is really wrong. And it's in miles per hour so you have to convert it after that anyway.

- How many revs are we doing? I don't know, the rev meter doesn't work.

- What's that noise?

- Can you keep an eye on this oil gauge here? It can't go below 25. Although it does move a lot so only tell me if it stays there.

- We should probably get gas. I have no idea how much we have, the gauge doesn't work.

- I hope it doesn't start raining because this car leaks a whoooole lot.

- Turn the music down for a second, I need to listen to the weird noise the motor is making.

- I'm just going to pull over and advance the motor (some mechanic speak).

- You should probably learn how to use that fire extinguisher Claire.

- I need to turn the music up really loud because there's only speakers in the back and we can't hear it over the car noises. (this is how I got to enjoy extreme gangsta being blasted into my ears)

- Why is the motor ticking?

Then when it got dark...

- You can't really see much without the lights on full.

- Can you pass me my cellphone? I need to use it to periodically check the oil, fuel and speed because there are no dash lights.

- Did you guys hear that? Did you feel it or just hear it?

- Oh yeah, Claire, that seat is really bouncy. (I responded something about being on a trampoline)

Then when Juliet started driving...

- Jute, you can't use full lock to U-turn. Don't go anywhere near full lock.

- Every now and then, pull the steering wheel towards yourself, especially before you try to turn a corner. You don't have to hold it there, just pull it once.

When we finally made it to Rotorua, I got blinded by an exceptionally bright blue alarm light. Seriously, it illuminates me when I am standing halfway down the driveway.

And that's their wedding car! Hopefully it will be a bit more user friendly by then. All said, I did enjoy the ride up and it is an extremely cool car. I am sensing a bit of overuse of the word extreme at this point. Extreme.

So! I am now in Rotorua, where I will spend my days organising for the wedding and painting my parents rental house, and then the wedding is on Saturday, then I will (somehow) head back to Wellington where I THINK I have a job at The Realm Bar and Restaurant??? Not Sure. I hope so, I did a trial shift the other day and quite enjoyed it. That would be fabulous.

And Yes, I still have mached up toes from Wellington's pavements.

happy happy happy

Hello everyone!

Oh my Gosh. Relay for life is on again and I went to go register my team, team RamRob, and there's a $200 entry fee! How expensive! This is for a fundraising event. So if anyone wants to walk with me for 20hours in a relay, and put towards the 2 hundy registration fee, THEN fundraise for cancer, let me know.

I don't actually have anything else to blog about. How boring. Life is good though, apart from the unemployment :(

xx

Stupid Boy telling me I can't do what I want to do

After 2 and a half years of studying Engineering, I have come face to face with my first significant sexist encounter. This stupid boy told me....

1) I can't be an Engineer because I am doing a Bachelor of Science, even though I am going to do Honours, and then a PhD. So basically I will be the man. And I will be applying for ENGINEERING jobs. And the jobs I have already had have had the title "Engineering Student". But apparently I can't be an engineer.

2) I will never make it to a top management position within Engineering, because I am a woman. I can see where this opinion comes from, as women have the disadvantage of having a uterus, so even if they choose to put their kids into daycare at a young age, they still have to take off about 3 months per child. As I want many kids (read 4 or 5), and seeing as I am a fan of working on the mother-child bond, I think I will have to take 10 years or so out of my career - and this is quite a large chunk.

BUT I WILL FREAKEN MAKE IT TO THE TOP BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST.

So.... I am pretty mad about that, but at the same time happy that these issues have been brought up now, and in this way, so that I can quietly deal with it, so that when they come up when I am out in industry, I am more prepared. I hope. All is not lost - I have learned from today :D

Suddenly, Luke was Gone.

Hey everyone.

Today is a sad day. This morning at 5:50am, I stood inside Auckland Airport, and said goodbye to one of my two best friends, Luke. He is now staying with his parents, just out of the Gold Coast in Australia. In a few weeks he will move to Brisbane, where he will be living for the rest of the year at least. And then.... US. Me? I'm in NZ until mid-February next year, when I move to Melbourne. So although I want him to go where the wind takes him, I really hope that our paths cross again - MSN conversations are just not the same as the spontaneous discussions that pop up when you are hanging with someone in the real life. Luke has been staying at my flat for the last 3-4 days, and I have really been reminded of why we are best mates. He is an amazing person, and just blatently brings such a different perspective on things. We have been mates for 8 years now, and our friendship has gotten to the point where we can have these incredibly interesting, intellectual conversations, and actually disagree. Disagree! On huge world issues! And that's okay! We allow each other to have opinions, and this means we learn so much more, because we are open to the other persons reasonings.

Like with anyone close that moves away, I will miss hanging out with Luke, but we have lived more than an hour away from each other for the past 5-6 years, so I'm kind of used to it I guess. But losing the opportunites to have those thought-provoking conversations? That's really sad.

So, all I can do is keep in touch, and hope whatever paths in life we choose, cross along the way.

pathetic blog. do not read.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I JUST WROTE AN ENTIRE BLOG AND FREAKEN DELETED IT! i am going to cry. seriously. i was just up to the part where i say i am having a shit evening. i swore even, that's how bad. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH

but i feel i must update my avid readers. bullet point form?

Monday - 5 lab reports, in, good.

- 2am finish in computer lab working on comp game

Tuesday - 2 am finish in computer lab again

Wedneday - 5am finish in computer lab

Thursday - 3 hours sleep, catch bus to auckland

- see stell in her graduation gown and cap - yay! so proud of her! really made me think about how admirable it is to have a degree. yes you ashley.

- see mark and blake, mark graduating too. blake = loser like me.

- 15 mins sleep. hurray!

- off to stella's grad dinner at thai restaurant

- wine

- bed at midnight

Friday - awaken. catch ride to hamilton

- write report quickly

- give presentation on computer game

- spend 2 hours sorting leaves, bark, and wood from bags of mulched up tree. hurray. i love studying environmental engineering. This involved peeling sticks with a knife. that was pretty cool actually.

Saturday - shopping with alice

- hanging out with nolan

Sunday - tidy room - epic as. ie: desk still not done.

Monday - another day i was determined to make great. walk to school, and stayed, working, until 5pm. Got home, cooked dinner, wine, was great, until depression set in. got real lonely, had a bit of a bitch about everything, realised i was being a dork, and went back to just being lonely. wrote some poems - not really about being lonely, but oh well.

So the evening has turned out poo. I am sick of being single. 3 and a half years is too long. Where are all my boyfriends? where? Apply within.

-

Fantastic Day - New Lease on Life?

Wow! I have had a fantastic day, and I put it down to a simple, yet life-changing strategy. Positive thinking. I'm serious. The other day, I was reading an article about a thing called "The Secret". It means that you can get whatever you want from the Universe, if you just ask for it. If you focus on the positive things, you will get more good stuff happen to you.

So... Today, I thought I would give it a try. Last night, I went to see Matchbox 20 play live at the Vector Arena in Auckland - it was AMAZING. Love them so much!! Aaaaaanyway, so I was quite tired this morning, but I wanted to give the day a go in spite of this. I got ready for school, even in time to walk the 40minutes instead of driving. Right from the word go, everything was good. I was able to shower in a short time. I found clothes I wanted to wear. My hair sat nicely. And as I was wandering through the picturesque research innovation park that stands between my house and my university, listening to my mp3 player, I decided that today was a going to be a great day. I walked with heaps of energy, i mostly had a smile on my face. I got to Uni and taught my morning lab - i had two cool groups of students to work with, and even though now I think about it, the labs didn't go the best, it seemed like they went really well. Then I walked home, smiling at every maintenance worker I saw in the research park- got some great smiles and waves back - enjoyed the sunshine, got my clothes off the line (they were dry!) and went to work this arvo - then made it back to uni to grab more notes, and then went to a friends house to catch up with a few good mates from high school i haven't hung out with in ages. Basically my entire day just had a huge happy spin on it - most things i did went great, and the things that didn't just seemed insignificant.

This is the way I want to Live my Life.